Issue 618 – October 1, 2019

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Dear Andy,

I’ve hit a big road-block and don’t know where to turn. I hope you can help me.

My twin sons, Brawley and Crawley, are Life Scouts and 17 years old. They have just a little bit to go, and their 18th birthday is only about three weeks away!

Brawley has everything done. I just need to sit down with him and help him write his “personal statement.” But Crawley is a little behind his brother (they’re fraternal twins, and have very different personalities; Crawley has always lagged behind Brawley in Scouts, in sports, and even academically, even though I’ve pushed him again and again to catch up to his brother).

Crawley is still missing one merit badge: Communication. This is sort of silly, because he’s the more outgoing of the two and has even been elected Class President for their senior year of high school, even though his grades aren’t exactly wonderful (they’re still OK for college, though, and the admissions departments of several colleges have told me to not worry).

I called the Merit Badge Counselor for Communication, so I could go over with her all the things Crawley has already done and make an appointment with her so Crawley can get his sign-off. This is where the road-blocks started.

First, she told me that even though my son, as Class President, has already given two 15-minute speeches in front of the senior class, this won’t qualify for requirement 3: “Write a five-minute speech. Give it at a meeting of a group.” I don’t understand this. Crawley’s already done three times the work—twice! How can she say that that doesn’t count!

Second, she told me that requirement 8, which is the one for being master of ceremonies, still needs to be done. Even though I told her that Crawley has been in charge of a senior class meeting just two weeks ago, and was the chair of all student council meetings in his junior year, last year, she said those can’t count because it wasn’t a Scout event, like a court of honor or some such. To me, this was just ridiculous. Since when doesn’t it count when a boy has gone above and beyond a requirement?

Then, there was the final insult. When I asked this counselor what I can do to get this settled, she told me to give my son her phone number and have him call her himself. This is just ridiculous. Both my sons are very, very busy with schoolwork and they both play varsity sports, and have part-time jobs. How are they supposed to do things like call a counselor when they’re already so busy?

I called their Scoutmaster and demanded the name of another counselor, but he told me that this woman is the only Communication counselor in the district, unless I wanted to drive my sons way out of the area and go to another district for a counselor, which, to me, is just as ridiculous. To make it even worse, he told me that Crawley hasn’t asked for a blue card for Communication and then he refused to give it to me—I even offered to drive over to his house for it—so we can get this badge done!

I’ve always tried to be the best Scout Mom I can be. I was the boys’ Den Leader all through Cubs, and went on every family camping weekend with my sons and their den, and I never missed a pack meeting!

When they became Scouts, I went on every troop camping trip and made sure my sons got signed off on their requirements for Tenderfoot and Second Class and First Class. (The “troop dads” didn’t like this much, but I did it anyway—after all, they’re my sons and I want them to be Eagle Scouts.)

Trying to be the best Scout Mom I could be, I made sure Brawley and Crawley applied when troop elections happened, and helped them with their speeches when it was time for Senior Patrol Leader elections (they both got this position; Brawley, as usual, was first and then Crawley).

I signed them up for the merit badges they should earn at summer camp. I registered them for all of our council’s merit badge schools and then drove them to these events and sat in the back of the classrooms to make sure they paid attention. (When they were 15 and 16, they grumbled about this, but I told them this is what a good Scout Mom does!)

Now, right on the edge of their making Eagle, I’m getting blocked. What do I do? (Mrs. Ima Koddler, Scout Mom)

OK READERS, IT’S YOUR TURN… WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO “SCOUT MOM”?

Happy Scouting!

Andy

(Dear Reader: The scenarios depicted in the letter above are true; they are based on letters I’ve received over the past 18 years. The characters are not; they are fictional products of my imagination and any resemblance to real persons is entirely coincidental.)

Have a question? Facing a dilemma? Wondering where to find a BSA policy or guideline? Write to askandybsa@yahoo.com. Please include your name and council. (If you’d prefer to be anonymous, if published, let me know and that’s what we’ll do.)

Although these columns are copyrighted, any reader has my permission to quote or reproduce any columns or column parts so long as you attribute authorship: “Ask Andy” by Andy McCommish.

[No. 618 – 10/1/2019 – Copyright © Andy McCommish 2019]