Rule No. 46: Despots can’t be cured; only overthrown. Before they hurt yet another Scout, rise in overwhelming force and throw the rascals out. Rule No. 47 (for Scouts): The probability that your Scoutmaster happens to be looking your way is directly proportional to the stupidity of what you’re doing at that moment. Dear Andy, […]

Rule No. 45: The question, “Will you promise not to get mad when I tell you something?” is a guarantee that you will. Well folks, you’ve figured out pretty fast that I’m not in Scotland and don’t need any money!  Yup, I got hit– My regular email account was hacked, and made a real mess […]

Rule No. 44: Never argue with idiots.  They’ll drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Dear Andy, I’m a member of the National Scout Council in my country, Liberia, Africa.  Scouting says, “We are volunteers, and non-political…” Why aren’t Scouts permitted to participate in national politics when we’re (supposed to […]

Rule No. 43: Never give a Commissioner a weak cup of coffee. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dear Andy, How do I create my own website for the Communications merit badge? (Scout’s Name & Council Withheld) You start by asking your Communications Merit Badge Counselor. Hey Andy, My son’s a pretty weak swimmer.  He was only recently able to […]

Rule No. 41: In a confrontation between emotion and logic, emotion will win. Rule No. 42: Either employ the Scout sign or simply shout, “Sign’s Up!” To do both is pointless. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dear Andy, Let me be the first to provide you an optimistic letter on the new “active” requirement.   I was one of the “boots […]

“War has been, for almost all peoples and all times, the purest test of manhood,” stated Evan Thomas, editor at both Time and Newsweek and author of The War Lovers (Little Brown & Company, 2011).  Scouting, Boy Scouting specifically, has been accused for decades of being an organization invested particularly in preparing young men for […]

Rule No. 39: Knowledge and intelligent can be faked; clever and witty can’t. Rule No. 40: On any campout, the gadget most needed will be the one left in a trunk in the parking lot. First things first.  Let’s fix an error… Dear Andy, About those “pumpkin shooters” in your last column: I’m not aware […]

Rule No. 38: Wealth doesn’t assure happiness; neither does poverty. Dear Andy, Do you happen to know where I can find the requirements for the “Commissioner Excellence in Service to Units Award”? (We were told about it by De Nguyen, from the BSA National Council, when he came out to speak to us about the […]

Rule No. 36: Any Commissioner who believes Commissioners out-rank unit leaders should be immediately taken outside and shot. Rule No. 37: Two-thirds of the earth is covered by water; the remainder is covered by FOS chairs and Popcorn colonels. Dear Andy, On the subject of pets on a Scout camping trip I’d like to offer […]